The swish of Kanjeevarams, Banarasis and Paithanis, the glitz and glamour of jewellery, the joy that engulfs the environment, fun and laughter, 'mithaai' and 'phool'- all uniquely part and parcel of an Indian wedding. Two individuals coming together for the most important occasion of their lives !
The happiness should be infectious rather than like a marsh marigold having a big colourful head but growing in the marsh sans strong roots. I wonder who compels us to put up a front in public, even though this is not what we genuinely want to do. Is it that we live to please people at any cost, forgetting what is ethical and what brings happiness to the family, especially the children being tied in wedlock.
Early February of 2013, I had the privilege to attend a wedding with all the above frills. Everybody was exuberant and looking forward to this event, planning and preparing. Finally, the 'D Day' dawned. According to me, it was one of the cutest events I had attended in the very recent past. The reason being, it was a wedding out of the fold and all the rituals and customs were a big education for me since we were not so adept with all of this. It was a fine and elegant amalgamation of traditions and beliefs, the old and the new.
The bride was radiant and beautiful and the groom looked as successful as Prithviraj Chauhan from the pages of history. To sum it all, a big success story for which the couple had swum against many an odd, over many years of rough seas. At this point in time, they seemed to have conquered Everest !
When I gazed into the crowd, I noticed many a near and dear one with unhappy faces, and a feeling of complete letdown. I was surprised at this callowness. Was it just because the couple belonged to different faiths ? Are relationshps this fragile ? Why was a safety razor no where in sight ?Why did no one within the family think of improving the situation ? People holding so called responsible positions in society,highly educated, what makes us behave like this ? The marriage was taking place with the consent of the families. All the main attributes of an Indian marriage were met, then why cling on to trivia ?
It is when a girl goes through life's billows that she requires her family the most. This is certainly not the time and place to spread unhappiness. You need to hold her hand tight and reassure her. Your children need to feel and know that you are with them. That is every parent's responsibility. This is the moment for sagacity.
The shocker was yet to come. When the family were finally leaving, strict instructions were being served like 'paan' at the end of an event. The photographs of the ceremony were not to be shared on Instagram, just in case any body from outside was inquisitive about the events and ceremonies at the wedding. In other words, a kind of censorship was being imposed unmindful that others have their own freedom of choice, thought and expression.
Whom are we trying to please ? A psuedo society ? Why can't we stand up for our own individuality ? I certainly feel that people will look up to us with more respect and dignity if we follow our own voice. Once a decision of this magnitude is taken, we should hold our ground and go out of our way to support what is right. Others are not in the reckoning. Are their diktats and verdicts more important to us than our own ? Why is this canker holding us in sway ? This toxic nightshade must be cut off from the roots, at its very inception.
Somewhere along the way, everybody seemed to have forgotten why we had gathered. Ego and people's opinions slowly took centre stage displacing the bride and groom. Alas, we were groping in the dark and had digressed !
The happiness should be infectious rather than like a marsh marigold having a big colourful head but growing in the marsh sans strong roots. I wonder who compels us to put up a front in public, even though this is not what we genuinely want to do. Is it that we live to please people at any cost, forgetting what is ethical and what brings happiness to the family, especially the children being tied in wedlock.
Early February of 2013, I had the privilege to attend a wedding with all the above frills. Everybody was exuberant and looking forward to this event, planning and preparing. Finally, the 'D Day' dawned. According to me, it was one of the cutest events I had attended in the very recent past. The reason being, it was a wedding out of the fold and all the rituals and customs were a big education for me since we were not so adept with all of this. It was a fine and elegant amalgamation of traditions and beliefs, the old and the new.
The bride was radiant and beautiful and the groom looked as successful as Prithviraj Chauhan from the pages of history. To sum it all, a big success story for which the couple had swum against many an odd, over many years of rough seas. At this point in time, they seemed to have conquered Everest !
When I gazed into the crowd, I noticed many a near and dear one with unhappy faces, and a feeling of complete letdown. I was surprised at this callowness. Was it just because the couple belonged to different faiths ? Are relationshps this fragile ? Why was a safety razor no where in sight ?Why did no one within the family think of improving the situation ? People holding so called responsible positions in society,highly educated, what makes us behave like this ? The marriage was taking place with the consent of the families. All the main attributes of an Indian marriage were met, then why cling on to trivia ?
It is when a girl goes through life's billows that she requires her family the most. This is certainly not the time and place to spread unhappiness. You need to hold her hand tight and reassure her. Your children need to feel and know that you are with them. That is every parent's responsibility. This is the moment for sagacity.
The shocker was yet to come. When the family were finally leaving, strict instructions were being served like 'paan' at the end of an event. The photographs of the ceremony were not to be shared on Instagram, just in case any body from outside was inquisitive about the events and ceremonies at the wedding. In other words, a kind of censorship was being imposed unmindful that others have their own freedom of choice, thought and expression.
Whom are we trying to please ? A psuedo society ? Why can't we stand up for our own individuality ? I certainly feel that people will look up to us with more respect and dignity if we follow our own voice. Once a decision of this magnitude is taken, we should hold our ground and go out of our way to support what is right. Others are not in the reckoning. Are their diktats and verdicts more important to us than our own ? Why is this canker holding us in sway ? This toxic nightshade must be cut off from the roots, at its very inception.
Somewhere along the way, everybody seemed to have forgotten why we had gathered. Ego and people's opinions slowly took centre stage displacing the bride and groom. Alas, we were groping in the dark and had digressed !
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