Where Ravana is God and the Buddha is Lord

One more country off my bucket list, I wrote on Facebook as we were driving to the aerodrome on our way to the Emerald Isle. We were all spruced up as a family for an ecstatic experience that was coming our way. The 55 minute Sri Lanka airlines flight landed us in Colombo the capital of the stunning island country.

We had a whole week to explore and assimilate the varied experiences Sri Lanka had to offer. As we mostly do, we decided to drive. This time from Colombo to the untouched east. Though it was a long drive it was an exhilarating experience. The coconut palms, the lush green paddy fields and the lakes made us feel exuberant. Nature’s abundant beauty !

Dambulla was one first stops which is known for the monastery of the  Golden Buddha and a cave temple that dates back to the 12th century. We were there at midday and the golden Buddha was dazzling in the sunlight. Indeed a visual marvel.

From Dambulla, we headed to Trincomalee on the East Coast, the land of the turquoise green ocean. En route we pulled up for a few pictures of the resplendent, lake at Kantalai. Very picturesque and serene with a fishing boat lazily bobbing up and down against the fading glow of an alluring sunset. A photographers delight !

If your intent is to spend a delightful beach holiday on an unspoiled seashore with soft sands, gentle waters, and balmy weather; it is Trinco for you! It has two prominent beaches Nilaveli and Upuveli, besides of course the Pigeon Island. We decided to stop over at Nilaveli. The suite we stayed at the hotel was indeed a room with a view! It faced the ocean on three sides and was ethereal. Gazing at the sea with changing  bands of blue and green depending on the suns rays was divine. The sea was a shimmering blue at day as though the stars were taking a walk on the water. It changed colors so rapidly from blue to green and aquamarine. Fort Frederick is a historical old Dutch fort in Trinco with the Sea cocooned on three sides. The cool waters lashing against the rocks and breaking into a froth added to the beauty of this ancient fortress.

From Trincomalee we headed towards Kandy. It is the religious and cultural center of Sri Lanka. The secret tooth relic here is believed to be that of the Buddha which was supposed to have been smuggled into Sri Lanka by a princess hidden in her tresses. The world-famous Perahera festival is held here once a year. The sacred tooth is placed in a golden casket that is placed on a brilliantly caparisoned elephant. Many decorated elephants form part of this revered procession which is heralded by thousands of drummers and masked dancers. This procession goes all around the beautiful city of Kandy. It is an opulent sight to behold. Kandy also happens to be one of the oldest cities of Sri Lanka.

Kandy to Sigiriya was a charming journey with enchanting landscapes. Sigiriya is  an ancient rock fortress with a citadel, moat and murals A silent spectator to the vagaries of time. It is indeed a stunning edifice that makes you wonder how it could have been ever constructed at such a height with such finesse during such primeval times. The topmost part of the fort had a huge lion head with the four legs replete with huge claws below. Unfortunately, the head  according to locals had fallen off but the four legs still remain. A mesmerizing piece of art.

Our final destination was Colombo the capital of erstwhile Ceylon. It is surrounded by natural wetlands and lots of greenery. Short trips to GALLE & BENTOTA is worth every penny spent. Galle is famous for the old Dutch fort which is a UNESCO heritage site. Bentota has sandy stretches of beach with white sands, restful with a tangible sense of serenity. Sunset at Bentota is like a kaleidoscope transforming from pinks to orange and gold slowly melting into the deep west. It is ideal for swimming with the scintillating salty sea breeze blowing against you.

In case you are interested to carry home souvenirs, there is a variety you cannot keep off your itinerary . Though I must warn you that the cost is pretty steep. You will be spoiled for choice. Sri Lankan tea is excellent in case you are an avid tea drinker like me. 

Noritake, the famous crockery manufacturer, is worth a visit. Batik is another item worth putting into your shopping basket. Precious and semi precious stones are also a hallmark of Sri Lanka. Like in South India, oil lamps called Pahan are famous and also available for sale.

Seafood lovers, this is a one-stop destination where you can relish different kinds of culinary fare. Without a visit to the Ministry of crab, their flagship restaurant, your seafood cravings will never be satiated. It is a must visit not just for the delicately flavored food but also the ambience and the personal touch. The old Dutch hospital premises has been converted to house this premier restaurant to give it an old world charm. They have retained the structure with very few modifications.

Do pay your tribute to the fallen soldier of the Indian peacekeeping force (IPKF). The monument etched with names of our valiant martyrs whose blood fell on a foreign land, makes your heart thump in muted silence. A reverence beyond compare!

As usual, this was another enchanting holiday. Lived and relived every moment, creating lots of memories for posterity!

Vardaan - the Boon!

When life throws some grey moments, you can also expect some beautiful surprises to follow. Though these may be far and few, they leave an indelible stamp on your inward eye forever!

The pandemic brought untold misery to the world including our family and is still weaving its black veil across the globe. Yet I had something to thank God for - the birth of our first grandchild. Even though none of us could go across to help my daughter , she was blessed with a ‘work from home’ for the entire 9 months of her pregnancy, had plenty of rest and was able to have nourishing food and attention from my son. She enjoyed the 9 months without any stress, not even morning sickness.

The first scan I saw of my little grandie, was just a small dot. And instantly, I started calling him ‘Dotto’ . Soon Dotto started filling up the womb and became quite a busy and active baby. We would wait each day for his news and would keep imagining what he would be like. 

Months galloped and soon we had a virtual baby shower with the entire family. We started looking out for unusual baby names. One thing for sure was that we wanted a traditional Indian name with a strong meaning specially since the probability of him living in a different continent was high. Soon the purchases began .The registers started filling up with names and so did the registry . 

Ah! Those were such interesting days - so much to look forward to! We suddenly realised that time was closing on us and there was still tons to be done, especially since he was coming in the middle of a huge pandemic. Finally, the new furniture moved in , the nursery was done up and the bags for the hospital were packed and ready near the door, just waiting for the baby to press the alarm.

We were trying to fit into the shoes of the most coveted role of our lives - as grandparents. Eventually the countdown began. Since no alarm bells rang, our daughter was taken to the hospital. Video calls kept coming in one after the other and our perpetual question was - do you have any pain? I almost thought that the little one would be born on my son’s birthday . But he was born a day later almost at the same time as his father.

A little angel who lights up our lives like the first beam of the sun’s rays that spills its gold through the skylight - The cutest and sweetest grandson I could have ever wished for, an absolute Vardaan to our family, as his name suggests. 

At last we were able to meet our bundle of joy in the third week of June when he turned 9 months. While our children worked from home, the little boy kept adjusting to his new environment, just as we were trying to handle him with kid gloves. It seemed like redrafting the babyhood of my son. The feeding bottles, little toys, the baby gurgles and cries, the bathtub and the baby wipes, all seemed to have re-visited our home after taking a full circle. 

I realised how different each child is, even though they may belong to the same zodiac sign as one of the parents. While he kept learning , he was teaching us many a lesson too. Our little man is a huge bag of fun and laughter. He keeps us amused with his dancing, his little actions. He notices every little thing like he has magnifying glasses. He babbles a lot now and has his little vocabulary of 3-4 letter words, which he generously shoots at us. Such a marvel of God’s creation! 

By the blessing of God, we have been lucky to have him with us for four full months, again thanks to the pandemic. He came to our home wheeled in a pram and now he is running all around at supersonic speeds. He knows every nook and cranny and our day is made when he swoops into our arms. Our life these days unconditionally rallies around this lovely child.

He will be leaving soon and I know we will be in the doldrums once again without his captivating demeanour. We will miss the pitter patter of his soft feet all over the house, his gurgles and innocent looks. I guess a bane of the nuclear family system and the distances in between. I have already started wondering what he will be up to when we see him next.

Good luck my darling Varu, till we meet again! Know that as you are growing up, we are growing younger to keep pace with you and your pranks!

WOMEN CREATE and COMPLETE !

A very happy women’s day to you !

I recently went through a lot of messages where uplifting the woman was the main thrust. 

Commonly we discuss how men put down women and thrust their whimsical behaviour on them . But I was thinking of another parallel aspect concerning WOMEN . Do we realise that in many households despite the status, women hold the hands of men in ill treating another woman !

Examples are aplenty . The man blames the woman for bearing a girl child but when it comes to cursing the mother of the child, women join the men and why may I ask ? They themselves are women .Where has all that love and compassion gone ? The same mother has a different yardstick for the son and the daughter . How does her conscience allow it ? So susceptible to the make believe societal pressures ??

Another big menace in society is DOWRY. Why don’t the women of most households oppose it vehemently ? Why as a MIL or SIL do you want to count the nuggets and compare and contrast with illiterate people in society ? If I give something that I can afford to my daughter, it is ONLY for her and her only . Why does my daughter become someone lesser by not making her in laws richer ?

Why does a SON become a useless fellow if he stands up for his wife and points the mistakes in you, the mother or other sisters in law ? Don't you as the matriarch of the family have to take a rightful stand ?

Why do we as  educated women allow ourselves to be put down ? The first time somebody pushes you under water , you may take in a few gulps. But that should be the end of it . Keep yourself strong and formidable .

As Gandhiji said “ You must be the change you want to see in the world”.  A woman is a strong instrument of transformation. Literacy is the ability to read and write but true education is the ability to put it into behaviour and action. Let it begin in your very HOME!

REMEMBER, REAL QUEENS ADJUST EACH OTHER’S CROWNS !!!!

D - I - L or. ‘ DIL‘ ?

We have gone past a little more than half of a tumultuous 2020. It has put power brakes on many great ventures of progression . Just as I began to see women marching shoulder to shoulder with men , they are again kind of tied to the hearth , many losing jobs etc ; not to forget the societal shackles unfortunately many women are bound by. But I am sure all will be well once again and soon.

Daughter in law is a word I quite detest. If a girl in the prime of youth is being given away in kanyadaan , to you then does she still remain an outsider all her life ?? Why is she not accepted as the daughter of the household with pride and given equal rights as a daughter ? Emancipation of women does not seem to have changed our mindset.

Modernity is not just about dressing well and having high level certificates . It also means widening our horizon, being large-hearted and in this context accepting  your son’s wife as your own . This  will ensure there is no place for disparity and  all the vicious spaces in our heart ( dil ) is filled with compassion , happiness and joy .

Hope all of you reading this will see much sense in what I say . We need to educate a girl only if we want to give her the freedom to fly !!

So my dear saree  Sakhis , don’t simply bring a D - I - L  but if you do so, make her your ‘ DIL ‘. !!!  💕

Wearing a three shaded hand woven Kanjivaram in gold , mustard , green  the day I brought my  ‘DIL’ home ! 

A SILENT GOODBYE !

With absolute grief , I am compelled to announce the passing over of my mother in law MRS SWARNAM JOHNSON.She was 92 and moved on from this ethereal world across the rainbow bridge peacefully in her sleep on this 21st.

It was a jolt for her large family whose load bearing beams she carried deftly on her shoulders. A mentally and physically robust lady who was multifaceted. She never knew what it was to sit still . An extraordinary chef , who churned out curry powders to papads, pickles , Indian sweets and preserved fruits for the next year’s Christmas cake.; who with absolute ease knew the craft of tickling the taste buds of her kith and kin .

She was born into a large joint Iyengar family from Tamil Nadu who were landlords. She accepted her role as wife and mother to 5 children with utmost ease. She never missed an opportunity to learn something new . She would sew and knit with such flair , that anybody watching would be awe struck. Her heart and soul revolved around her children and grand children .She would look for excuses to spoil them with her talents .

She was up at the break of dawn and after her prayers would settle with her cup of milk with Daddy beside her with his cuppa tea .They would make a spread sheet of the goings on in the city ,combined with sprinklings from the past and present . They were like two love birds chirping away ! A virtue unfortunately not handed over to her children ! It’s only after this that the accelerator would be pressed full throttle for the day !

Her large heartedness was a trait which would make anybody awestruck ; day in and day out , all of her life. Anyone known ,walking into the home at meal times were always welcomed. I was always overwhelmed by the fact, food never ran short, not once. She seemed to have a magic wand ! Her servings were super large and she loved to serve everyone by herself. It was a joke in the home” Mummy’s landslide is arriving “ ! She kept a portion of food for some poor beggar every day on her verandah. That was a ritual she strictly followed.

She was a lady akin to a bottle of champagne , full of fizz ! Her flair for narrating anecdotes coupled with her double dollop of wit was irresistible. Her positivity in the most trying circumstances was incredible. She encouraged her children and grand children to forge ahead and accomplish great heights .

My son Swapnil lived with them for a full 2 years while I was in Manipur. He was in the crucial years of his schooling . She doted on him , indulged him , treated his hungry school friends, sat up with hot coffee during his exams and kept him in great humour. Her report card of him was all summarised in her one sentence “ He is ALL ROUND CLEVER “ !!!!! She was not very proficient in the English language. Hers was a hilarious mix of Tamil and the language the East India Company left behind !! Then came along my daughter ! My MIL could not stop raving about her. She felt that Deep ( as she liked to call her) was a replica of me and it was her perpetual question to my son , “how did you manage that “!! Deepali and Mummy got along like a house on fire. To me it seemed the status she gave her was equal to that of her own grandchildren , if not higher ! She was her NOOR ! Deepu and I would often chuckle “ what would grandma say of her great grand son ?( who is almost here ).It certainly would be ALL ROUND TOO CLEVER !!! Alas , he missed her by just a month.

Mom loved shopping not for her self but for each of us. After landing ( she lived in Nairobi ) one full day’s job would be to make an endless shopping list which resembled the long computerised grocery bills of today ! There were only add ons no subtractions . It was hazardous to say that we liked anything in her presence .They sure would pop up immediately on her list !!!!!

Mummy ,I cannot believe that you have left us . We still feel your presence around. I am sanguine you will be with your Deep through her delivery while none of us are there with her. Stay with our grandson on his tryst with destiny, walk hand in hand with ur great grandson showing him the right path to tread on .Be with each of us your children to help us complete our life’s voyage in the best possible way.

Mummy , I will miss those secret gifts you used to hide and bring me and those delectable Gulab jamuns, ladoos , the picnic hampers for Noel and me during our school days ..I will miss the repetitive stories of how brilliant your Selva was and a myriad other things. I believe in shooting stars and meteors. I shall look out for them in the night sky and when I see one, I will know it is YOU !!

Does your head belong to you ?

Does your head belong to you ? Really ???
In a rather educated society I feel quite perplexed to even initiate a question like this.
I am a regular commuter through the busy and pot hole ridden metro of Bengaluru. The bumper to bumper slow moving traffic makes the writer in me , notice many an interesting occurrence some savoury and some mind boggling.  Two wheelers swishing  between motor vehicles at such unapproved speeds is one such ;
so much so either ur side view mirror is broken or a part of the paint is scraped off or you have just missed tipping him off.  The fingers have to be always crossed.
Cops on side walks are serving  challans  left , right and centre for all reasons mostly legit and some for sadistic pleasure. There is a strict road rule that helmets are compulsory for the rider and the  pillion.  But what I witness on a daily basis are that  most  two wheeler drivers are without helmets . Some do  but with  the belt under the chin as loosely strung as a ' hammock ' , of no use to God or Man. This is simply to beat the cop at his game.
My question then is , if the cop is getting a fine out of someone without a helmet , then why not from these frauds as well ? Next point is the quality of the helmet worn . It can be as inferior as a ' coconut shell ' or something that looks colourful and decent enough ; but not strong as to take an impact on the  hard , metalled road ! If the intent is to save lives let's ensure that only ISI marked ones are permitted and that they are well strapped on.
The main question to the citizen is --- Whose head is it anyway ? Are u not responsible for your life ? Do you think Cops and the  administration alone  blameworthy for the longevity of your life ? Are you not accountable for your family ? So many of you may be the only earning member with multiple obligations. Why are you on such a suicidal path ?
I almost get hysteric when I see a fatal two wheeler accident and on scrutiny discover that the victim was riding without a helmet and the question lingers ' may be ' he could have survived had he worn a helmet !

Reminiscing Christmas in the Forces

I decided to put up this couple pic this morning .There is ample reason for it. Christmas reminds me of the awesome times we had in the Army when each and everyone would join in for the merry making. The celebrations would start when I would start my baking . The bachelors  would come with their brandy and rum to drench the fruits, to such an extent that the fruits would be drunk !!  I was married into this awesome fraternity of the INDIAN ARMY at the young age of 21! From there started a long adventurous, fun filled journey. Most of my cherished dreams were fulfilled on this expedition called LIFE. Learnt what camaraderie meant , how to celebrate all festivals.  Pray in a Mandir , Mazhar , Gurdwara or Church . Experimented with different cultures and cuisine. To help everybody in need and to be proud of this great Country we belong to.
Made a lot of lasting friends. Lost so many forever on battle fields and insurgencies. We carry their memories with us forever with a prayer for their souls.

The result , our children are well adjusted in society and doing well despite the 14 schools my child attended !
I am amazed when I read that certain people feel hesitant to stand up for the National Anthem. I can't believe it. For me, listening to our National Anthem anytime ,anywhere , makes my heart swell with pride and my feet are restless to stand up.
Here I team up with my husband donning the OLIVE GREEN and me in an elegant MYSORE SILK. But my saree is nowhere comparable to the smart Army Combat camouflages!
JAI HIND