WOMEN CREATE and COMPLETE !

A very happy women’s day to you !

I recently went through a lot of messages where uplifting the woman was the main thrust. 

Commonly we discuss how men put down women and thrust their whimsical behaviour on them . But I was thinking of another parallel aspect concerning WOMEN . Do we realise that in many households despite the status, women hold the hands of men in ill treating another woman !

Examples are aplenty . The man blames the woman for bearing a girl child but when it comes to cursing the mother of the child, women join the men and why may I ask ? They themselves are women .Where has all that love and compassion gone ? The same mother has a different yardstick for the son and the daughter . How does her conscience allow it ? So susceptible to the make believe societal pressures ??

Another big menace in society is DOWRY. Why don’t the women of most households oppose it vehemently ? Why as a MIL or SIL do you want to count the nuggets and compare and contrast with illiterate people in society ? If I give something that I can afford to my daughter, it is ONLY for her and her only . Why does my daughter become someone lesser by not making her in laws richer ?

Why does a SON become a useless fellow if he stands up for his wife and points the mistakes in you, the mother or other sisters in law ? Don't you as the matriarch of the family have to take a rightful stand ?

Why do we as  educated women allow ourselves to be put down ? The first time somebody pushes you under water , you may take in a few gulps. But that should be the end of it . Keep yourself strong and formidable .

As Gandhiji said “ You must be the change you want to see in the world”.  A woman is a strong instrument of transformation. Literacy is the ability to read and write but true education is the ability to put it into behaviour and action. Let it begin in your very HOME!

REMEMBER, REAL QUEENS ADJUST EACH OTHER’S CROWNS !!!!

D - I - L or. ‘ DIL‘ ?

We have gone past a little more than half of a tumultuous 2020. It has put power brakes on many great ventures of progression . Just as I began to see women marching shoulder to shoulder with men , they are again kind of tied to the hearth , many losing jobs etc ; not to forget the societal shackles unfortunately many women are bound by. But I am sure all will be well once again and soon.

Daughter in law is a word I quite detest. If a girl in the prime of youth is being given away in kanyadaan , to you then does she still remain an outsider all her life ?? Why is she not accepted as the daughter of the household with pride and given equal rights as a daughter ? Emancipation of women does not seem to have changed our mindset.

Modernity is not just about dressing well and having high level certificates . It also means widening our horizon, being large-hearted and in this context accepting  your son’s wife as your own . This  will ensure there is no place for disparity and  all the vicious spaces in our heart ( dil ) is filled with compassion , happiness and joy .

Hope all of you reading this will see much sense in what I say . We need to educate a girl only if we want to give her the freedom to fly !!

So my dear saree  Sakhis , don’t simply bring a D - I - L  but if you do so, make her your ‘ DIL ‘. !!!  💕

Wearing a three shaded hand woven Kanjivaram in gold , mustard , green  the day I brought my  ‘DIL’ home ! 

A SILENT GOODBYE !

With absolute grief , I am compelled to announce the passing over of my mother in law MRS SWARNAM JOHNSON.She was 92 and moved on from this ethereal world across the rainbow bridge peacefully in her sleep on this 21st.

It was a jolt for her large family whose load bearing beams she carried deftly on her shoulders. A mentally and physically robust lady who was multifaceted. She never knew what it was to sit still . An extraordinary chef , who churned out curry powders to papads, pickles , Indian sweets and preserved fruits for the next year’s Christmas cake.; who with absolute ease knew the craft of tickling the taste buds of her kith and kin .

She was born into a large joint Iyengar family from Tamil Nadu who were landlords. She accepted her role as wife and mother to 5 children with utmost ease. She never missed an opportunity to learn something new . She would sew and knit with such flair , that anybody watching would be awe struck. Her heart and soul revolved around her children and grand children .She would look for excuses to spoil them with her talents .

She was up at the break of dawn and after her prayers would settle with her cup of milk with Daddy beside her with his cuppa tea .They would make a spread sheet of the goings on in the city ,combined with sprinklings from the past and present . They were like two love birds chirping away ! A virtue unfortunately not handed over to her children ! It’s only after this that the accelerator would be pressed full throttle for the day !

Her large heartedness was a trait which would make anybody awestruck ; day in and day out , all of her life. Anyone known ,walking into the home at meal times were always welcomed. I was always overwhelmed by the fact, food never ran short, not once. She seemed to have a magic wand ! Her servings were super large and she loved to serve everyone by herself. It was a joke in the home” Mummy’s landslide is arriving “ ! She kept a portion of food for some poor beggar every day on her verandah. That was a ritual she strictly followed.

She was a lady akin to a bottle of champagne , full of fizz ! Her flair for narrating anecdotes coupled with her double dollop of wit was irresistible. Her positivity in the most trying circumstances was incredible. She encouraged her children and grand children to forge ahead and accomplish great heights .

My son Swapnil lived with them for a full 2 years while I was in Manipur. He was in the crucial years of his schooling . She doted on him , indulged him , treated his hungry school friends, sat up with hot coffee during his exams and kept him in great humour. Her report card of him was all summarised in her one sentence “ He is ALL ROUND CLEVER “ !!!!! She was not very proficient in the English language. Hers was a hilarious mix of Tamil and the language the East India Company left behind !! Then came along my daughter ! My MIL could not stop raving about her. She felt that Deep ( as she liked to call her) was a replica of me and it was her perpetual question to my son , “how did you manage that “!! Deepali and Mummy got along like a house on fire. To me it seemed the status she gave her was equal to that of her own grandchildren , if not higher ! She was her NOOR ! Deepu and I would often chuckle “ what would grandma say of her great grand son ?( who is almost here ).It certainly would be ALL ROUND TOO CLEVER !!! Alas , he missed her by just a month.

Mom loved shopping not for her self but for each of us. After landing ( she lived in Nairobi ) one full day’s job would be to make an endless shopping list which resembled the long computerised grocery bills of today ! There were only add ons no subtractions . It was hazardous to say that we liked anything in her presence .They sure would pop up immediately on her list !!!!!

Mummy ,I cannot believe that you have left us . We still feel your presence around. I am sanguine you will be with your Deep through her delivery while none of us are there with her. Stay with our grandson on his tryst with destiny, walk hand in hand with ur great grandson showing him the right path to tread on .Be with each of us your children to help us complete our life’s voyage in the best possible way.

Mummy , I will miss those secret gifts you used to hide and bring me and those delectable Gulab jamuns, ladoos , the picnic hampers for Noel and me during our school days ..I will miss the repetitive stories of how brilliant your Selva was and a myriad other things. I believe in shooting stars and meteors. I shall look out for them in the night sky and when I see one, I will know it is YOU !!

Does your head belong to you ?

Does your head belong to you ? Really ???
In a rather educated society I feel quite perplexed to even initiate a question like this.
I am a regular commuter through the busy and pot hole ridden metro of Bengaluru. The bumper to bumper slow moving traffic makes the writer in me , notice many an interesting occurrence some savoury and some mind boggling.  Two wheelers swishing  between motor vehicles at such unapproved speeds is one such ;
so much so either ur side view mirror is broken or a part of the paint is scraped off or you have just missed tipping him off.  The fingers have to be always crossed.
Cops on side walks are serving  challans  left , right and centre for all reasons mostly legit and some for sadistic pleasure. There is a strict road rule that helmets are compulsory for the rider and the  pillion.  But what I witness on a daily basis are that  most  two wheeler drivers are without helmets . Some do  but with  the belt under the chin as loosely strung as a ' hammock ' , of no use to God or Man. This is simply to beat the cop at his game.
My question then is , if the cop is getting a fine out of someone without a helmet , then why not from these frauds as well ? Next point is the quality of the helmet worn . It can be as inferior as a ' coconut shell ' or something that looks colourful and decent enough ; but not strong as to take an impact on the  hard , metalled road ! If the intent is to save lives let's ensure that only ISI marked ones are permitted and that they are well strapped on.
The main question to the citizen is --- Whose head is it anyway ? Are u not responsible for your life ? Do you think Cops and the  administration alone  blameworthy for the longevity of your life ? Are you not accountable for your family ? So many of you may be the only earning member with multiple obligations. Why are you on such a suicidal path ?
I almost get hysteric when I see a fatal two wheeler accident and on scrutiny discover that the victim was riding without a helmet and the question lingers ' may be ' he could have survived had he worn a helmet !

Reminiscing Christmas in the Forces

I decided to put up this couple pic this morning .There is ample reason for it. Christmas reminds me of the awesome times we had in the Army when each and everyone would join in for the merry making. The celebrations would start when I would start my baking . The bachelors  would come with their brandy and rum to drench the fruits, to such an extent that the fruits would be drunk !!  I was married into this awesome fraternity of the INDIAN ARMY at the young age of 21! From there started a long adventurous, fun filled journey. Most of my cherished dreams were fulfilled on this expedition called LIFE. Learnt what camaraderie meant , how to celebrate all festivals.  Pray in a Mandir , Mazhar , Gurdwara or Church . Experimented with different cultures and cuisine. To help everybody in need and to be proud of this great Country we belong to.
Made a lot of lasting friends. Lost so many forever on battle fields and insurgencies. We carry their memories with us forever with a prayer for their souls.

The result , our children are well adjusted in society and doing well despite the 14 schools my child attended !
I am amazed when I read that certain people feel hesitant to stand up for the National Anthem. I can't believe it. For me, listening to our National Anthem anytime ,anywhere , makes my heart swell with pride and my feet are restless to stand up.
Here I team up with my husband donning the OLIVE GREEN and me in an elegant MYSORE SILK. But my saree is nowhere comparable to the smart Army Combat camouflages!
JAI HIND

My love affair with Indian handlooms

Welcome to my extensive world of the warp and weft of handlooms. The texture, the hues, the feel, the way the yarn is woven in such intricate detail to become a magical dream does not fail to fascinate me. I can indeed gaze and gaze and be mesmerized by the processes that go into the manufacture of a handloom fabric drape.

Maheshwari Brocade

Each motif or print and the methodology used to create folklore into the fabric is also enthralling. The end product is like reading an epic! The blocks are mostly made of teak and the designs are traced on to it like we do on paper. This design is then carved into the block which is dipped into the dye and pressed on to the cloth.

Block printing

Since it is a hand block print, you may notice that the prints may not all be equal. There may be some prints bright and some a little dull. All prints may not be uniform in size either. Many people mistake this as a flaw in the fabric but this is the quintessential essence of a typical handloom, as it is hand-printed.

The looms of India are rooted in our ancient past which is unfortunately not very well chronicled. When I visited places like Lothal, Paithan and Patan, I learnt that the Indian textiles were already on the looms in Mohenjodaro and Harappa. Like the Indian spices, these weaves were in great demand during those days itself in China and Egypt. Hence, they were being exported from time immemorial. 

The dyes used for printing are made from eco friendly material like Indigo, flowers, roots, rice flour, turmeric, saffron, barks,leaves, gum etc. This in itself is a labour intensive process which involves drying, powdering and finally mixing with water or other liquids to get the right consistency. Other than blocks, matchsticks, twigs, fingers are used for painting. 

In case you love re-visiting history, you will come across varied sculptures and designs on temple walls, step wells and palaces. The length and breadth of India is a stock pile of stunning examples of art and architecture. Most of the prints are copied from such ancient art forms onto yards of silk and cotton. A single saree may tell you a part of a story on history or a part from our epics and the everyday life of a bygone era. Remember, when you are wearing a heritage six yard, you are also wearing a part of a story in history!

India being an age old civilization, she can boast of more than a hundred different kinds of handloom. It is one of the biggest cottage industries.

Kerala Kasavu Saree

Unfortunately, many such production units are at a nadir. The reasons are that most people prefer going in for drapes manufactured on the power loom which turns out to be much cheaper. Another big reason is the inability to assess the difference. Let me guarantee you that the disparity is huge. Another malaise devouring this industry are the lookalikes or fakes which are easily available. Be sure to read up on a particular handloom and print before trotting off with your shopping bag! 

Himroo

It is very relevant for us to safeguard our heritage before it is completely annihilated by the power looms and counterfeit. The weavers are mostly in the villages and they do not have a market to showcase their breathtaking fabrics. Hence it falls in the hands of the retailers who pay the weaver a frugal amount. The weavers put in intensive hard work which sometimes involve many hands and many man days.

Uppada Silk

Finally, what he gets is not even sufficient to sustain himself or maintain his trade. We as individuals must try our best to acquire these handlooms directly from the weaver thereby short-circuiting the retailer. This is the only method of preserving the industry for posterity and uplifting the meagre lot of our weavers. By buying one saree, each of us is helping this industry to swim above the tide. 

An unusual Paithani with Bal Krishna's Matkas

We are actually spoilt for choice with the Queen of sarees, the Kanjivaram silk, Banarasi brocade and Paithani.

A traditional Kanjivaram

What about the Manipuri silk, Kerala Kasavu Saree, Mysore silk, Tanchoi Tussar, Himroo, Gicha, Munga, Mulberry silk, Chanderi, Maheshwari, Baluchari, Matka, Bomkai, Sambalpuri, Ilkal ,Narayanpet, Gadwal, Venkatgiri, Mangalgiri, Uppada and Jamdani - My list can go on and on. 

The Kalamkari work is done by a pen dipped in dyes and hand drawn on the fabric. History dates it back to the 13th century when songsters with a cultural bent of mind went from one area to the other practicing this art which got patronage from the Golkonda kings.

Madhubani Silk

Madhubanis belong to the same category as Kalamkaris, done by twigs, matchsticks etc. Warli designs are done by a fine brush. Ajrak is also block printing but the print is also on the reverse side. It dates back to anywhere between 2000-3000 years and is mainly done on cotton and silk. The Bagh prints are manufactured  in the village Bagh on the banks of the Bagh River in MP. It dates back to the times of Alexander. The Himroo woven near Aurangabad is almost 500 years old. Even today, it continues with Persian designs. It is believed to have had the patronage of Mohammad bin Tughlaq. The Bagru print came into prominence about 500 years ago. It is done in a small town called Bagru near Jaipur. Dabu printing came into India during ancient times when the Chinese visited India for trade. It is practiced in Rajasthan and so is the Sanganeri print.

Bagru print

The Ikkat is very commonly seen these days and are found on Pochampallys, Patolas, Sambalpuris etc. The Tie and Dyes are done in Gujarat and Rajasthan. The fabric is tied with strings and dyed in different colours. When the strings are removed, and the fabric is dried, the design emerges.Some good examples are the Bandhani, Lahariya and Shibori which dates back to the 8th century. Batik work is done from wax and the best of them come from Chennai, West Bengal and other states as well.

Gharchola Saree

I have to thank my parents for my beautiful trousseau which is beyond reach anymore and my husband’s Army tenures which has taken me to far flung areas like Kashmir and Manipur, where I have learnt so much about handlooms. 

Manipuri Silk Saree

The travels have exposed me to an awesome learning experience and have also made me add to my collection. When I got to know that my ‘Lakshmi’ would soon join us, I started collecting sarees from various states for her and thus the saga still continues!

Bomkai

Pochampally

Chanderi silk

These elegant and sophisticated weaves are a must for every Indian woman who loves to look glamorous in an alluring traditional Saree or Kurta . They make fabulous hand-me-downs too. So the next time you are out trousseau shopping or gifting yourself a saree, don’t forget the spectacular Indian handlooms. You will be the pivot of attraction of any get-together adorning this dexterously woven, venerable and time honored drape . 

Venkatagiri

* All sarees shown are from my personal collection

The Last Cigar

My insatiable zeal for traveling berthed us this time in the vibrant state of Gujarat. We traveled the length and breadth on wheels and were mesmerized by what this land had to offer. We brought back with us a wealth of knowledge and a lot of winsome memories.

We landed in the quaint city of Diu, one wintry morning. Though the sun was sharp during the day, a cold breeze seemed to beckon us as if to tell a story of not so bygone an era.
We were drawn to the Memorial of a 'made to scale' memorial of a Frigate, encased in a glass case.

The prudently sited Memorial on a raised piece of land overlooks an unending expanse of the Arabian Sea. The tranquil aquamarine waters coupled with the blue sky above seemed to have a lot to enunciate. I decided to shut down, pick up my ears and scour out of the depository; a chunk of history that lay approximately 40 nautical miles off the coast of Diu.

This is the soul-stirring saga of the dauntless grit of a hero - Capt Mahendranath Mulla, MVC.

He was commanding INS Khukri, a blackwood class Frigate during the 1971 war. Diu was the assembly area for ships in readiness to attack the Karachi harbor. INS Kirpan and INS Khukri were berthed in the placid waters awaiting orders.
It was another routine evening with the sinking sun casting gorgeous hues of orange and yellow on the vast canvas of the sky. Work was as usual when the communique of the sinking of 'PNS Ghazi', a Pakistani submarine by the Indian Navy arrived. This was received with much gusto and jubilation. Very soon the crew gathered together to raise a toast to the sinking of the Ghazi.

It was a pitch dark night with the moon obscured by clouds. There was almost no visibility through the periscope. The crew was busy testing the improved version of the sonar on the ship. PNS Hangor, a Daphne class submarine had already left Karachi harbor in all readiness for an attack.INS Khukri was unaware of Hangor lurking stealthily underwater.
PNS Hangor fired their first torpedo at INS Kirpan which failed to explode. Unfortunately, INS Kirpan turned away from its location. Getting its act together, INS Khukri darted towards Hangor. A torpedo was fired at Khukri which unluckily exploded under the oil tanks and the boiler room.

During the pandemonium and chaos, fully aware that the Frigate was sinking, Capt Mulla was personally supervising the rescue of his men. Most officers were caught below the deck. The Capt along with others were pushing the officers trapped, through a small hatch door. Most of them got thrown into the icy-cold waters of the sea. They were insisting on the Capt to abandon the ship. But Capt Mulla was adamant and stayed on. According to Capt Manu Sharma, a survivor, the last words he heard from his Capt were "You go and don't worry about me." After going underwater and coming up, he could see from a far distance, Capt Mulla holding the top of the ship's railing and smoking a cigar. The ship was steadily sinking and he was seen going down with it true to the highest traditions of the Indian Navy.

What attributes go into the making of such brave men? Is it fearlessness coupled with unflinching patriotism, intrepidity, and the pluck to do the impossible? In the words of Mrs Ameeta Mulla Wattal, she says "Never call your best action a sacrifice. If one fights for a cause, it is because one cannot live with the way things are."

Those who knew Capt Mulla describe him as an officer who was extremely courageous, determined with a prodigious devotion to duty. At the same time, he was light-hearted with an exceptional penchant for Urdu poetry. he was a great inspiration to his men and had a way to keep them motivated. One survivor wrote, " he not only taught us to live but also how to die."

INS Khukri took along with her Capt Mahendranath Mula, Cdr Muktadavil Oommen, 16 brave officers and 176 sailors. She was the first ship to sink after the Second World War.

As a gust of strong wind swept through my tangled hair, a chill ran down my spine, I held on to my shawl, hugging it a little closer and read the name etched on the edifice, right to the last man. What a stupendous sacrifice. What dynamic people, who will forever embody the lofty ethics of the Indian Navy.

References:
- Tehelka _ khukri
- Transition to triumph by Vice Admiral GM Hiranandani
- INS Khukri survivor stories
- Why they chose to go down - Ameeta Mulla Wattal