D - I - L or. ‘ DIL‘ ?

We have gone past a little more than half of a tumultuous 2020. It has put power brakes on many great ventures of progression . Just as I began to see women marching shoulder to shoulder with men , they are again kind of tied to the hearth , many losing jobs etc ; not to forget the societal shackles unfortunately many women are bound by. But I am sure all will be well once again and soon.

Daughter in law is a word I quite detest. If a girl in the prime of youth is being given away in kanyadaan , to you then does she still remain an outsider all her life ?? Why is she not accepted as the daughter of the household with pride and given equal rights as a daughter ? Emancipation of women does not seem to have changed our mindset.

Modernity is not just about dressing well and having high level certificates . It also means widening our horizon, being large-hearted and in this context accepting  your son’s wife as your own . This  will ensure there is no place for disparity and  all the vicious spaces in our heart ( dil ) is filled with compassion , happiness and joy .

Hope all of you reading this will see much sense in what I say . We need to educate a girl only if we want to give her the freedom to fly !!

So my dear saree  Sakhis , don’t simply bring a D - I - L  but if you do so, make her your ‘ DIL ‘. !!!  💕

Wearing a three shaded hand woven Kanjivaram in gold , mustard , green  the day I brought my  ‘DIL’ home ! 

A SILENT GOODBYE !

With absolute grief , I am compelled to announce the passing over of my mother in law MRS SWARNAM JOHNSON.She was 92 and moved on from this ethereal world across the rainbow bridge peacefully in her sleep on this 21st.

It was a jolt for her large family whose load bearing beams she carried deftly on her shoulders. A mentally and physically robust lady who was multifaceted. She never knew what it was to sit still . An extraordinary chef , who churned out curry powders to papads, pickles , Indian sweets and preserved fruits for the next year’s Christmas cake.; who with absolute ease knew the craft of tickling the taste buds of her kith and kin .

She was born into a large joint Iyengar family from Tamil Nadu who were landlords. She accepted her role as wife and mother to 5 children with utmost ease. She never missed an opportunity to learn something new . She would sew and knit with such flair , that anybody watching would be awe struck. Her heart and soul revolved around her children and grand children .She would look for excuses to spoil them with her talents .

She was up at the break of dawn and after her prayers would settle with her cup of milk with Daddy beside her with his cuppa tea .They would make a spread sheet of the goings on in the city ,combined with sprinklings from the past and present . They were like two love birds chirping away ! A virtue unfortunately not handed over to her children ! It’s only after this that the accelerator would be pressed full throttle for the day !

Her large heartedness was a trait which would make anybody awestruck ; day in and day out , all of her life. Anyone known ,walking into the home at meal times were always welcomed. I was always overwhelmed by the fact, food never ran short, not once. She seemed to have a magic wand ! Her servings were super large and she loved to serve everyone by herself. It was a joke in the home” Mummy’s landslide is arriving “ ! She kept a portion of food for some poor beggar every day on her verandah. That was a ritual she strictly followed.

She was a lady akin to a bottle of champagne , full of fizz ! Her flair for narrating anecdotes coupled with her double dollop of wit was irresistible. Her positivity in the most trying circumstances was incredible. She encouraged her children and grand children to forge ahead and accomplish great heights .

My son Swapnil lived with them for a full 2 years while I was in Manipur. He was in the crucial years of his schooling . She doted on him , indulged him , treated his hungry school friends, sat up with hot coffee during his exams and kept him in great humour. Her report card of him was all summarised in her one sentence “ He is ALL ROUND CLEVER “ !!!!! She was not very proficient in the English language. Hers was a hilarious mix of Tamil and the language the East India Company left behind !! Then came along my daughter ! My MIL could not stop raving about her. She felt that Deep ( as she liked to call her) was a replica of me and it was her perpetual question to my son , “how did you manage that “!! Deepali and Mummy got along like a house on fire. To me it seemed the status she gave her was equal to that of her own grandchildren , if not higher ! She was her NOOR ! Deepu and I would often chuckle “ what would grandma say of her great grand son ?( who is almost here ).It certainly would be ALL ROUND TOO CLEVER !!! Alas , he missed her by just a month.

Mom loved shopping not for her self but for each of us. After landing ( she lived in Nairobi ) one full day’s job would be to make an endless shopping list which resembled the long computerised grocery bills of today ! There were only add ons no subtractions . It was hazardous to say that we liked anything in her presence .They sure would pop up immediately on her list !!!!!

Mummy ,I cannot believe that you have left us . We still feel your presence around. I am sanguine you will be with your Deep through her delivery while none of us are there with her. Stay with our grandson on his tryst with destiny, walk hand in hand with ur great grandson showing him the right path to tread on .Be with each of us your children to help us complete our life’s voyage in the best possible way.

Mummy , I will miss those secret gifts you used to hide and bring me and those delectable Gulab jamuns, ladoos , the picnic hampers for Noel and me during our school days ..I will miss the repetitive stories of how brilliant your Selva was and a myriad other things. I believe in shooting stars and meteors. I shall look out for them in the night sky and when I see one, I will know it is YOU !!

Does your head belong to you ?

Does your head belong to you ? Really ???
In a rather educated society I feel quite perplexed to even initiate a question like this.
I am a regular commuter through the busy and pot hole ridden metro of Bengaluru. The bumper to bumper slow moving traffic makes the writer in me , notice many an interesting occurrence some savoury and some mind boggling.  Two wheelers swishing  between motor vehicles at such unapproved speeds is one such ;
so much so either ur side view mirror is broken or a part of the paint is scraped off or you have just missed tipping him off.  The fingers have to be always crossed.
Cops on side walks are serving  challans  left , right and centre for all reasons mostly legit and some for sadistic pleasure. There is a strict road rule that helmets are compulsory for the rider and the  pillion.  But what I witness on a daily basis are that  most  two wheeler drivers are without helmets . Some do  but with  the belt under the chin as loosely strung as a ' hammock ' , of no use to God or Man. This is simply to beat the cop at his game.
My question then is , if the cop is getting a fine out of someone without a helmet , then why not from these frauds as well ? Next point is the quality of the helmet worn . It can be as inferior as a ' coconut shell ' or something that looks colourful and decent enough ; but not strong as to take an impact on the  hard , metalled road ! If the intent is to save lives let's ensure that only ISI marked ones are permitted and that they are well strapped on.
The main question to the citizen is --- Whose head is it anyway ? Are u not responsible for your life ? Do you think Cops and the  administration alone  blameworthy for the longevity of your life ? Are you not accountable for your family ? So many of you may be the only earning member with multiple obligations. Why are you on such a suicidal path ?
I almost get hysteric when I see a fatal two wheeler accident and on scrutiny discover that the victim was riding without a helmet and the question lingers ' may be ' he could have survived had he worn a helmet !